Math and everithing is possible

0 "There is no Royal Road to Geometry." -- Euclid

1 "Mathematics is the Queen of the Sciences." - Carl Friedrich Gauss

2 "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a

million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire

works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the internet, we

know this is not true." -- Professor Robert Silensky

3 "One machine can do the work of fifty men. No

machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."

4 "If I have seen farther than other men, it is because

I have stood on the shoulders of giants." -- Isaac

Newton

5 "When I get a little money, I buy books and if any

is left, I buy food and clothes." -- Erasmus

6 "The length of your education is less important than

its breadth, and the length of your life is less

important than its depth." -- Marilyn vos Savant

7 "Your work is to discover your work and then with all

your heart to give yourself to it." -- Buddha

8 "A mind is a fire to be kindled, not a vessel to be

filled." -- Plutarch

9 "The greater part of our happiness or misery depends

on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances."

-- Martha Washington

10 "The world is not given to you by your parents. It is

loaned to you by your children." -- Kenyan proverb

11 "If a man hasn't found something he will die for, he

isn't fit to live." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

12 "In a completely rational society, the best of us would

be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for

something less, because passing civilization along from

one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor

and the highest responsibility anyone could have."

-- Lee Iacocca

13 "What happens to you in life is not as important as

your attitude toward it."

14 "The secret of success is to have more good days than

bad days."

15 "The second most important job in the world, second

only to being a good parent, is being a good teacher."

-- S.G. Ellis

16 "Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned."

-- Peter Marshall.

17 "Forget committees. New, noble, world-changing ideas

always come from one person working alone."

-- H. Jackson Brown, Life's Little Instruction Book

18 "The most important questions in life are, for the

most part, really only problems of probability."

-- Pierre Simon de La Place

19 "I do not teach, I relate." -- Montaigne

20 "The more you know, the less sure you are." -- Voltaire

21 "Well done is better than well said." -- Ben Franklin

22 "Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare."

-- Descartes

23 "Mathematics is a more powerful instrument of knowledge

than any other that has been bequeathed to us by human

agency." -- Descartes

24 "Cogito, Ergo Sum. I think, therefore I am." -- Descartes

25 "The reading of all good books is like a conversation

with the finest people of past centuries." -- Descartes

26 "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life

by what we give." -- Winston Churchill

27 "Teaching high school, in addition to knowing one's

subject matter thoroughly and being able to convey it to

others, requires the grit of a long-distance runner, the

stamina of a boxer going 15 rounds, the temperament of a

juggler and the street smarts of a three-card monte

dealer." -- Professor Larry Cuban

28 "St. Augustine had good insight on the division of

labor between God and his children when he wrote that we

should work as if everything depended on our efforts and

pray as if everything depended on the Almighty."

29 "If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 25 people in his

office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and

some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing

trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without

assistance, had to treat them all with professional

excellence for nine months, then he might have some

conception of the classroom teacher's job."

-- Colman McCarthy in The Washington Post

30 "Old principals never die, they just lose their

faculties."

31 "How you teach is more important than what you teach."

32 "Life is too short for long division."

33 "I hear and I forget.

I see and I remember.

I do and I understand." -- Chinese Proverb.

34 "Any teacher that can be replaced by a computer

should be replaced by a computer."

35 "Old math teachers never die, they just tend to infinity."

36 "Old teachers never die; they just lose their class."

37 "Natural numbers are better for your health."

38 "Decimals have a point."

39 "Calculus has its limits."

40 "Geometry is just plane fun."

41 "Polar coordinates aren't just arctic fashions."

42 "The only time a question should be asked is when all other

possibilities of finding the answer for yourself have been

eliminated." -- Ben Franklin.

43 "A great memory does not make a mind, any more than

a dictionary is a piece of literature."

44 "Old math teachers never die; they just pass into another sphere."

45 "Knowledge exists to be imparted." -- Emerson

46 "An educational system isn't worth a great deal if it

teaches young people how to make a living and doesn't

teach them how to live." -- Charles Snitow.

47 "Life is a ladder: Every step we take is either up or

down." -- Brewster

48 "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

49 "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish and you will realize why some

people think golf is exciting."

50 "Small minds discuss persons. Average minds

discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas.

Really great minds discuss mathematics."

51 "There is no branch of mathematics, however abstract, which may not

someday be applied to the phenomena of the real world."

-- Nicolai Lobachevsky

52 "Logic is the anatomy of thought." -- John Locke;

53 "I tell them if they will occupy themselves with the study of

mathematics, they will find in it the best remedy against

the lusts of the flesh." -- Thomas Mann

54 "The mathematical rules of the universe are visible to men in

the form of beauty." -- John Michel

55 "It is easier to square a circle than to get round a

mathematician." -- de Morgan

56 "The union of the mathematician with the poet, fervor with measure,

passion with correctness, this surely is the ideal."

-- William James;

57 "We have to reinvent the wheel every once in a while, not because

we need a lot of wheels; but because we need a lot of inventors."

-- Bruce Joyce

58 "It is impossible to be a mathematician without being a poet in

soul. -- Sophia Kovalevskaya

59 "All the effects of nature are only mathematical results of a small

number of immutable laws." - La Place

60 "Music is the pleasure the human mind experiences from counting

without being aware that it is counting." -- Leibniz

61 "The essence of mathematics is not to make simple things

complicated, but to make complicated things simple." -- S. Gudder

62 "I recoil with dismay and horror at this lamentable plague of

functions which do not have derivatives. -- Charles Hermite

63 "The value of a problem is not so much coming up with the answer

as in the ideas and attempted ideas it forces on the would be

solver." -- I.N. Herstein

64 "The infinite! No other question has ever moved so profoundly the

spirit of man." -- David Hilbert

65 "The object of mathematics is the honor of the human spirit."

-- C. Jacobi

66 "One person's constant is another person's variable."

-- Susan Gerhart

67 "People who don't count won't count." -- Anatole France

68 "An educated mind is, as it were, composed of all the minds of

preceding ages." -- de Fontenelle

69 "Do not worry too much about your difficulties in mathematics, I

can assure you that mine are still greater." -- Albert Einstein

70 "Mathematics is the gate and key to the sciences." -- Roger Bacon

71 "Logic is invincible, because in order to combat logic it is

necessary to use logic." -- Pierre Boatroux;

72 "Algebra is generous; she often gives more than is asked of her."

-- D'Alembert

73 "A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black

cat which isn't there." -- Charles Darwin

(quoted by Jaime Escalante in the film, STAND and DELIVER)

74 "Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas."

-- Albert Einstein

75 "Imagination is more important than knowledge." -- Albert Einstein

76 "The advancement and perfection of mathematics are intimately

connected with the prosperity of the state." -- Napoleon

77 "The calculus is the greatest aid we have to the application of

physical truth in the broadest sense of the word." -- W. F. Osgood

78 "The notion of infinity is our greatest friend; it is also the

greatest enemy of our peace of mind." -- James Pierpont

79 "Numbers are the highest degree of knowledge. It is

knowledge itself." -- Plato

80 "Geometry existed before creation." -- Plato

81 "God ever geometrizes." -- Plato

82 "Let no one ignorant of geometry enter here."

-- inscription above Plato's Academy

83 "Circles to square and cubes to double would give a man

excessive trouble." -- Matthew Prior

84 "Wherever there is number, there is beauty." -- Proclus

85 "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new

landscapes but in having new eyes." -- Marcel Proust

86 "There is geometry in the humming of the string." -- Pythagoras

87 "What would life be without arithmetic but a scene of horrors?"

-- Sydney Smith

88 "A mathematician who is not also something of a poet will never

be a complete mathematician." -- Karl Weierstrass

89 "Mathematics is the science of definiteness, the necessary

vocabulary of those who know." -- W. J. White

90 "The pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human

spirit." -- Alfred North Whitehead

91 "Algebra is the intellectual instrument which has been created for

rendering clear the quantitative aspects of the world."

-- Alfred North Whitehead

92 "The science of Pure Mathematics, in its modern developments,

may claim to be the most original creation of the human spirit.

-- Alfred North Whitehead

93 "Black holes are where God divided by zero." -- Steven Wright

94 "The best teacher is not the one who knows most, but the one

who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound

of the obvious and wonderful ..." -- H.L. Mencken

95 "Math class is tough." -- Barbie Doll (1992)

96 "After years of finding mathematics easy, I finally reached

integral calculus and came up against a barrier. I realized that

this was as far as I could go, and to this day I have never

successfully gone beyond it in any but the most superficial way."

-- Isaac Asimov

97 "It is clear that the chief end of mathematical study must be to

make the students think." -- John Wesley Young

98 "Only professional mathematicians learn anything from proofs.

Other people learn from explanations." -- Ralph Boas

99 "I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to

study mathematics and philosophy." -- John Adams

100 "Mathematics is not a spectator sport!"

101 "He who can properly define and divide is to be considered a god."

-- Plato

102 "The Good Lord made all the integers; the rest is man's doing."

-- Leopold Kronecker

103 "Medicine makes people ill, mathematics makes them sad, and

theology makes them sinful." -- Martin Luther

104 "There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be

smarter than everybody else. The second way is to be stupider than

everybody else -- but persistent." -- Raoul Bott

105 "Mathematics is the life of the gods."

-- Novalis (Friedrich von Hardenberg)

106 "He is unworthy of the name of man who is ignorant of the fact that

the diagonal of a square is incommensurable with its side.

-- Plato

107 "Mathematics consists in proving the most obvious thing in the

least obvious way." -- George Polya

108 "Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they

translate into their own language and forthwith it is something

entirely different."

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

109 "How happy the lot of the mathematician. He is judged solely by his

peers, and the standard is so high that no colleague or rival can

ever win a reputation he does not deserve." -- W.H. Auden

110 "Obvious is the most dangerous word in mathematics." -- E.T. Bell

111 "Mathematics is written for mathematicians." -- Copernicus

112 "I was x years old in the year x^2."

-- Augustus De Morgan (when asked about his age)

113 "Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards

to solve other problems." -- Rene Descartes

114 "It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it

well." -- Descartes

115 "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

-- Benjamin Disraeli

116 "Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the

individual who can labor in freedom." -- Albert Einstein

117 "Science without religion is lame; religion without science is

blind." -- Albert Einstein

118 "The mathematician has reached the highest rung on the ladder of

human thought." -- Havelock Ellis

119 "Whenever you can, count." -- Sir Francis Galton

120 "Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules

with meaningless marks on paper." -- David Hilbert

121 "I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the

scientific names of beings animalculous; in short, in matters

vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of the modern

Major General." -- W.S. Gilbert in the Pirates of Penzance

122 "Mathematics is the science of what is clear by itself."

-- Carl Jacobi

123 "Perhaps the greatest paradox of all is that there are paradoxes in

mathematics." -- Kasner and Newman

124 "No human investigation can be called real science if it cannot be

demonstrated mathematically." -- Leonardo da Vinci

125 "Who has not been amazed to learn that the function y = e^x, like a

phoenix rising from its own ashes, is its own derivative?"

-- Francois le Lionnais

126 "All great therorems were discovered after midnight."

-- Adrian Mathesis

127 "In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to

them." -- Johann von Neumann

128 "Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and

teaching mathematics." -- Simeon Poisson

129 "A man is like a fraction whose numerator is what he is and whose

denominator is what he thinks of himself. The larger the

denominator, the smaller the fraction." -- Tolstoy

130 "I'm sorry to say that the subject I most disliked was mathematics.

I have thought about it. I think the reason was that mathematics

leaves no room for argument. If you made a mistake, that was all

there was to it." -- Malcolm X

131 "Mathematics is no more computation than typing is literature."

-- John Allen Paulos

132 "There are no solved problems; there are only problems that are

more or less solved." -- Henri Poincare

133 "The mathematician does not study pure mathematics because it is

useful; he studies it because he delights in it and he delights

in it because it is beautiful." -- Henri Poincare

134 "Beauty in mathematics is seeing the truth without effort."

-- George Polya

135 "Teaching is the royal road to learning."

-- Jassamyn West

136 "We only think when confronted with a problem."

-- John Dewey

137 "The life of a mathematician is dominated by an insatiable

curiosity, a desire bordering on passion to solve the problems he

is studying." -- Jean Dieudonne

138 "One's work may be finished some day, but one's education never."

-- Alexandre Dumas

139 "Geometry is the foundation of all painting."

-- Albrecht Durer

140 "The arithmetic of life does not always have a logical answer."

-- Inshirah Abdur-Rauf

141 "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence

stops." -- Henry Brooks Adams

142 "I am not a teacher, I am an awakener." -- Robert Frost

143 "It is the duty of all teachers, and of teachers of mathematics in

particular, to expose their students to problems much more than

to facts." -- Paul Halmos

144 "Mathematics should be fun." -- Peter J. Hilton

145 "I write rhymes with addition and algebra, mental geometry."

-- Ice-T

146 "There is a famous formula, perhaps the most compact and famous of

all formulas -- developed by Euler from a discovery of de

Moivre: e^(i pi) + 1 = 0... It appeals equally to the mystic, the

scientist, the philosopher, the mathematician."

-- Edward Kasner and James Newman

147 "God exists since mathematics is consistent and the devil exists

since we cannot prove the consistency." -- Morris Kline

148 "Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a

computer. Art is everything else we do." -- Donald Knuth

149 "Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity."

-- Horace Mann

150 "Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I may not remember. Involve

me, and I'll understand." -- Native American saying

151 "Statistics are human beings with the tears wiped away."

-- Paul Brodeur

152 "Education is what survives when what has been learned has been

forgotten." -- B. F. Skinner

153 "Calculus is the most powerful weapon of thought yet devised by

the wit of man." -- W. B. Smith

154 "Nature's great book is written in mathematics." -- Galileo

155 "Numbers constitute the only universal language." --Nathanael West

156 "To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a

computer."

157 "The essence of mathematics is in its freedom." -- Georg Cantor

158 "Mathematics, in one view, is the science of infinity."

-- P. Davis and R. Hersh

159 "From the very beginning of his education, the child should

experience the joy of discovery." -- Alfred North Whitehead

160 "Mathematics -- this may surprise or shock some -- is never

deductive in creation." -- Paul Halmos

161 "Mathematicians create by acts of insights and intuition. Logic

then sanctions the conquests of intuition." -- Morris Kline

162 "I have discovered a truly marvelous proof of this , which however

the margin is not large enough to contain." -- Pierre de Fermat,

referring to the result known as Fermat's Last Theorem

163 "How can it be that mathematics, a product of human thought

independent of experience, is so admirably adapted to the objects

of reality?" -- Albert Einstein

164 "Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children."

-- Walt Disney

165 "The moving power of mathematical invention is not reasoning but

imagination." -- Augustus de Morgan

166 "Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I

do not understand it myself any more." -- Albert Einstein

167 "Every human activity, good or bad, except mathematics, must come

to an end." -- Paul Erdos

168 "We are all concerned about the future of American education. But

as I tell my students, you do not enter the future -- you create

the future. The future is created through hard

work." -- Jaime Escalante

169 "I never got a pass mark in math ... Just imagine --

mathematicians now use my prints to

illustrate their books." -- M.C. Escher

170 "Mighty is geometry; joined with art, resistless." -- Euripides

171 "Getting the degree meant more to me than an NCAA title, being

named All-American or winning an Olympic gold medal."

-- Patrick Ewing

172 "The calculus is one of the greatest edifices constructed by

mankind." -- Cambridge Conference on School Mathematics

173 "Statistics are no substitute for judgment." -- Henry Clay

174 "Alcohol and Calculus Don't Mix; Never Drink and Derive."

175 "You don't have to teach people to be human. You need to teach

them how to stop being inhuman." -- Eldridge Cleaver

176 "By the end of the first month of the 1995 session, each senator

will have made more money than any person who works 40 hours a

week at minimum wage for the entire year."

-- Bill Clinton

177 "The title which I most covet is that of teacher. The writing of

a research paper and the teaching of freshman calculus, and

everything in between, falls under this rubric.

Happy is the person who comes to understand something and then

gets to explain it."

-- Marshall Cohen

178 "All mathematicians share ... a sense of amazement over the

infinite depth and the mysterious beauty and usefulness of

mathematics." -- Martin Gardner

179 "Mathematical knowledge adds vigor to the mind, frees it from

prejudice, credulity, and superstition." -- John Arbuthnot

180 "The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry,

and limitations; and these are the greatest forms of the

beautiful." -- Aristotle

181 "My philosophy of learning, like my blood type, is be positive.

Keeping student attitudes positive is vital to their success in

learning. – David Pleacher"

182 "Besides language and music, mathematics is one of the primary

manifestations of the free creative power of the human mind."

-- Hermann Weyl

183 "A diagram is worth a thousand words." -- Dr. Carl E. Linderholm

184 "Where the pessimist sees a half-closed interval, the optimist

sees a half-open interval."

185 "Discovery lessons, students writing to learn mathematics, the

teaching of so-called general problem solving concepts, field

trips, math lab lessons, alternate assessments, collaborative

partner tests, student presentations, and open-ended problems

should all be used sparingly. I use some of them, but they have

limited value. Pencil-and-paper analytic solutions are the heart

of mathematics education."

--Michael Stueben in Twenty Years Before the Blackboard

186 "There are 10 types of people in the world -- Those who understand

binary, and those who don't."

187 "Character is what you are when no one is watching."

188 "Morality, like art, consists in drawing a line somewhere."

189 "The heart of education is education of the heart."

190 "Education is worth little if it teaches only how to make a living

rather than how to make a life." - Mary Hatwood Futrell

191 "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

- Mark Twain

192 "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it."

-- Charles Swindoll

193 "If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead

anywhere." -- Frank A. Clark

194 "Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off

your shoes." -- Mickey Mouse

195 "Although I am absolutely without training or knowledge in the

exact sciences, I often seem to have more in common with

mathematicians than with my fellow artists." -- M.C. Escher

196 "The only angle from which to approach a problem is the

TRY-Angle"

197 "Education is what you get from reading the small print.

Experience is what you get from not reading it!"

198 "Newton's First Law: Somedays it's better to stay in bed."

199 "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open

one." -- Malcolm S. Forbes

200 "The shortest distance between two points is under construction."

-- Bill Sanderson

201 "He who laughs, lasts." -- Mary Pettibone Poole

202 "Positive attitudes bring positive results. Negative attitudes

bring negative results."

203 "Geometry is the science of correct reasoning on incorrect

figures." - George Polya

204 "If there is a problem you can't solve, then there is an easier

problem you can't solve: find it." - George Polya

205 "A GREAT discovery solves a great problem but there is a grain of

discovery in any problem." - George Polya

206 "The first rule of discovery is to have brains and good luck. The

second rule of discovery is to sit tight and wait till you get a

bright idea." - George Polya

207 "There are many questions which fools can ask that wise men cannot

answer." - George Polya

208 "I am too good for philosophy and not good enough for physics.

Mathematics is in between." - George Polya

209 "God wrote the universe in the language of mathematics." - Galileo

210 "If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only

because they do not realize how complicated life is."

211 "Inspiration is the impact of a fact on a well-prepared mind."

- Louis Pasteur

212 "New facts often trigger new ideas" - Osborn

213 "What is now proved was once only imagined" - Proverb

214 "Men who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are

doing it."

215 "If you go fishing you may not catch any fish. If you don’t go

fishing, you’ll never catch any fish." - Alex F. Osborn

216 "Some people study all their life, and at their death have learned

everything but to think." - Demergue

217 "The past must be a springboard, not a sofa." - Harold MacMillan

218 "A problem well stated is half-solved." - John Dewey

219 "The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas."

- Linus Pauling

220 "Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten

but they may start a winning game." - Goethe

221 "Questions are creative acts of intelligence." - Frank Kingdon

222 "A learned man is an idler who kills time by study."

- George Bernard Shaw

223 "Nothing was ever achieved without enthusiasm." - Emerson

224 "Our minds are finite, and even in these circumstances of finitude

we are surrounded by possibilities that are infinite; and the

purpose of human life is to grasp as much as we can out of that

infinitude. " -- Alfred North Whitehead

225 "From the intrinsic evidence of his creation, the Great Architect

of the Universe now begins to appear as a pure

mathematician." -- James Hopwood Jeans

226 "It is truth very certain that, when it is not in one's power to

determine what is true, we ought to follow what is more

probable." -- Rene Descartes

227 "Thus mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never

know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is

true." -- Bertrand Russell

228 "But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to

understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right

answer." -- Tom Lehrer

229 "But don't panic. Base 8 is just like Base 10 really. If you're

missing two fingers." -- Tom Lehrer

230 "Sufficient unto the day is the rigor thereof.

-- Eliakim H. Moore

231 "Mathematics is a body of knowledge, but it contains no truths.

-- Morris Kline

232 "Mathematics is on the artistic side a creation of new rhythms,

orders, designs, harmonies, and on the knowledge side, is a

systematic study of various rhythms, orders, designs, and

harmonies. -- William L. Schaaf

233 "Mathematics -- the subtle fine art." -- Jamie Byrnie Shaw"

234 "The mathematician's patterns, like the painter's or poet's, must

be beautiful. The ideas, like the colours or the words, must fit

together in a harmonious way. Beauty is the first test: There is

no permanent place in the world for ugly mathematics.

-- G. H. Hardy

235 "Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas."

-- Edward Kasner and James R. Newman

236 "Mathematics, even in its present and most abstract state, is not

detached from life. It is just the ideal handling of the problems

of life." -- Cassius Jackson Keyser

237 "The merit of painting lies in the exactness of reproduction.

Painting is a science and all sciences are based on mathematics.

No human inquiry can be a science unless it pursues its path

through mathematical exposition and demonstration."

-- Leonardo Da Vinci

238 "Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the

test first, and the lesson afterward."

239 "Not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts.

-- Albert Einstein

240 "I had been to school ... and could say the multiplication table

up to 6 x 7 = 35, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further

than that if I was to live forever. I don't take no stock in

mathematics anyway." -- Huckleberry Finn (by Mark Twain)

241 "The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways.

But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round

numbers." -- Scott Adams

242 "42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot." -- Steven Wright

243 "Five out of four people have trouble with fractions."

-- Steven Wright

244 "Two and two the mathematician continues to make four, in spite of

the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for

five." -- James McNeill Whistler

245 "Angling may be said to be so like the mathematics that it can

never be fully learnt." -- Izaak Walton

246 "Mathematics is the science which draws necessary conclusions."

-- Benjamin Peirce

247 "Mechanics is the paradise of the mathematical sciences because by

means of it one comes to the fruits of mathematics."

-- Leonardo da Vinci

248 "Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme

beauty." -- Bertrand Russell

249 "Mathematics takes us still further from what is human, into the

region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual world,

but every possible world, must conform." -- Bertrand Russell

250 "The harmony of the world is made manifest in Form and Number, and

the heart and soul and all the poetry of Natural Philosophy are

embodied in the concept of mathematical beauty."

-- Sir D'Arcy Wentworth Thompson

251 "Numerical precision is the very soul of science."

-- Sir D'Arcy Wentworth Thompson

252 "All the mathematical sciences are founded on the relations between

physical laws and laws of numbers." -- James Clerk Maxwell

253 "I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of

reasoning." -- Plato

254 "Histories make men wise; poets witty; the mathematics, subtile;

natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able

to contend." -- Francis Bacon

255 "A few honest men are better than numbers." -- Oliver Cromwell

256 "Q.E.D. (Quod Erat Demonstrandum: Which was to be proven.)"

-- Euclid

257 "Population, when unchecked, increases in a geometrical ratio.

Subsistence increases only in an arithmetical ratio."

-- Thomas Robert Malthus

258 "The theory of probabilities is at bottom nothing but common sense

reduced to calculus." -- Pierre de La Place

259 "Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad." -- Meatloaf

260 "Statistics means never having to say you're certain."

261 "Without geometry life is pointless."

262 "The work of a teacher -- exhausting, complex, idiosyncratic,

never twice the same -- is at its heart, an intellectual and

ethical enterprise. Teaching is the vocation of vocations..."

-- William Ayres

263 "Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the world

for ugly mathematics."

-- Godfrey Harold Hardy, A Mathematician's Apology (1940)

264 "We think it's about little techniques and tricks, but techniques

only take you so far. We need teachers who care about kids, who

care about what they teach, and who can communicate with kids."

-- Parker I. Palmer in The Courage to Teach.

265 "Physicists defer only to mathematicians, and mathematicians defer

only to God."

266 "Biologists think they are biochemists,

Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,

Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,

Physicists think they are Gods,

And God thinks he is a Mathematician."

267 "Old math teachers never die –- they just lose their functions."

268 "Ganas is all you need." [Ganas is Spanish for passion, guts,

determination, desire] -– Jaime Escalante

269 "I do not believe in the gifted. If [the students] have ganas

[Spanish for desire], I can make them do it." -– Jaime Escalante

270 "Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration."

-- Thomas Alva Edison

271 "To teach is to learn."

272 "To learn, you must want to be taught." – Proverbs 12:1

273 "Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently."

-- Henry Ford

274 "To infinity and beyond."" – Buzz Lightyear

275 "I think, therefore I laugh." -- John Allen Poulos

276 "I do not think -- therefore I am not."

277 "Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.

Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives."

278 "The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those

who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that

mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the

spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell."

-- St. Augustine

279 "The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math."

280 "With an absurd oversimplification, the "invention" of the calculus

is sometimes ascribed to two men, Newton and Leibniz. In reality,

the calculus is the product of a long evolution that was neither

initiated nor terminated by Newton and Leibniz, but in which both

played a decisive part." -- Richard Courant and Herbert Robbins

281 "The whole apparatus of the calculus takes on an entirely different

form when developed for the complex numbers."

-- Keith Devlin

282 "It is clear that Economics, if it is to be a science at all, must

be a mathematical science ... simply because it deals with

quantities...

As the complete theory of almost every other science involves the

use of calculus, so we cannot have a true theory of Economics

without its aid." -- W. S. Jevons

283 "The Mean Value Theorem is the midwife of calculus - not very

important or glamorous by itself, but often helping to deliver

other theorems that are of major significance."

-- E. Purcell and D. Varberg

284 "But just as much as it is easy to find the differential

[derivative] of a given quantity, so it is difficult to find the

integral of a given differential. Moreover, sometimes we cannot

say with certainty whether the integral of a given quantity can be

found or not." -- Johann Bernoulli

285 "You live your life between your ears." -- Bebe Moore Campbell

286 "What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one

and one and one?" "I don't know," said Alice. "I lost count."

"She can't do addition," said the Red Queen." -- Lewis Carroll

287 "Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom."

-- George Washington Carver

288 "Infinity converts the possible into the inevitable."

-- Norman Cousins

289 "Education is learning more than it is being taught. It's the

chemistry of curiosity exposed to information. In that sense all

of life is potentially school. And even I can pass that."

-- Bob Guiccione, Jr.

290 "The mathematician's best work is art, a high perfect art, as

daring as the most secret dreams of imagination, clear and limpid.

Mathematical genius and artistic genius touch one another."

-- Gosta Mittag-Leffler

291 "How many pizzas are consumed each year in the United States? How

many words have you spoken in your life? How many different

peoples names appear in the New York Times each year? How many

watermelons would fit inside the U.S. Capitol building? What is

the volume of all the human blood in the world?

-- John A. Paulos

292 "[Paradoxes of the infinite arise] only when we attempt, with our

finite minds, to discuss the infinite, assigning to it those

properties which we give to the finite and limited;"

-- Galileo Galilei

293 "We must say that there are as many squares as there are numbers."

-- Galileo Galilei

294 "The study of mathematics is apt to commence in disappointment."

-- Alfred North Whitehead

295 "Bees … by virtue of a certain geometrical forethought … know that

the hexagon is greater than the square and the triangle, and will

hold more honey for the same expenditure of material." -- Pappas

296 "The Universe is a grand book which cannot be read until one first

learns to comprehend the language and become familiar with the

characters in which it is composed. It is written in the language

of mathematics…"

-- Galilei Galileo

297 "I am persuaded that this method [for calculating the volume of a

sphere] will be of no little service to mathematics. For I foresee

that once it is understood and established, it will be used to

discover other theorems which have not yet occurred to me, by

other mathematicians, now living or yet unborn." -- Archimedes

298 "Education is indoctrination if you're white; subjugation if you're

black." -- James Baldwin

299 "The purpose of education...is to create in a person the ability to

look at the world for himself, to make his own decisions."

-- James Baldwin

300 "No set of principles can guarantee a recipe for good practice (in

teaching)." -- D. Ball and T. Schroeder

301 "All of us are slaves to the prejudices of our own dimension."

-- Thomas Banchoff (in introduction to Flatland)

302 "The calculus is the story this [the Western] world first told

itself as it became the modern world." -- David Berlinski

303 "The definition of a limit is essentially his [Cauchy"s] creation

and is as much of a miracle as those fantastic Swiss clocks of the

period in which hundreds of gleaming cogs are made to celebrate

not only the time and date but the phases of the moon."

-- David Berlinski

304 "Everything tries to be round." -- Black Elk

305 "Somebody came up to me after a talk I had given, and said,

'You make mathematics seem like fun.' I was inspired to reply,

'If it isn't fun, why do it?'" -- Ralph P. Boas

306 "Major paradoxes provide food for logical thought for decades and

sometimes centuries." -- Nicholas Bourbaki

307 "Mathematics is the handwriting on the human consciousness of the

very Spirit of Life itself." -- Claude Bragdon

308 "The schools are a great theater in which we play out the conflicts

in the culture." -- David Cohen and Barbara Neufeld

309 "Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without

learning is perilous." -- Confucius

310 "Starting in the seventeenth century, the general theory of extreme

values -- maxima and minima -- has become one of the systematic

integrating principles of science."

-- Richard Courant and Herbert Robbins

311 "Every new body of discovery is mathematical in form, because there

is no other guidance we can have." -- Charles Darwin

312 "One of the endlessly alluring aspects of mathematics is that its

thorniest paradoxes have a way of blooming into beautiful

theories." -- P.J. Davis

313 "Common integration is only the memory of differentiation..."

-- A. De Morgan

314 "I see it, but I don't believe it." [On Cantor's proof that the

points in the unit interval were in one-to-one correspondence with

points in the unit square.] -- Richard Dedekind

315 "Numbers are the free creation of the human mind."

-- Richard Dedekind

316 "The linear-programming was -- and is -- perhaps the single most

important real-life problem." -- Keith Devlin

317 "There can be very little of present-day science and technology

that is not dependent on complex numbers in one way or another."

-- Keith Devlin

318 "Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite

as much from his failures as from his successes." -- John Dewey

319 "Education is not a preparation for life, education is life

itself." -- John Dewey

320 "One of the most important concepts in all of mathematics is that

of function." -- T.P. Dick and C.M. Patton

321 "The life of a mathematician is dominated by an insatiable

curiosity, a desire bordering on passion to solve the problems he

is studying." -- Jean Dieudonne

322 "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ. They showed me

a picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me, "which one

is different and does not belong?" They taught me different was

wrong." -- Ani DiFranco

323 "you got to look outside- your eyes- you got to think outside- your

brain- you got to walk outside- your life- to where the

neighborhoods change." -- Ani DiFranco

324 "A book on the new physics, if not purely descriptive of

experimental work, must essentially be mathematical."

-- P.A.M. Dirac

325 "Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal." -- Mike Ditka

326 "If there's no struggle, there's no progress."

-- Frederick Douglass

327 "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the

impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the

truth?" -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

328 "Education must not simply teach work - it must teach life."

-- W.E.B. DuBois

329 "How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so

stupid? It must be education that does it." -- Alexandre Dumas

330 "One factor that has remained constant through all the twists and

turns of the history of physical science is the decisive

importance of the mathematical imagination." -- Freeman Dyson

331 "Proof is an idol before which the mathematician tortures himself."

-- Sir Arthur Eddington

332 "There ain't no rules around here! We're trying to accomplish

something!" -- Thomas Edison

333 "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.

It is the source of all true art and science."

-- Albert Einstein

334 "It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative

expression and knowledge." -- Albert Einstein

335 "The series of integers is obviously an invention of the human

mind, a self-created tool which simplifies the ordering of certain

sensory experiences." -- Albert Einstein

336 "I have no particular talent. I am only inquisitive."

-- Albert Einstein

337 "In the beginning (if there was such a thing), God created Newton’s

laws of motion together with the necessary masses and forces. This

is all; everything beyond this follows from the development of

appropriate mathematics methods by means of deduction."

-- Albert Einstein

338 "The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of

empirical facts by logical deduction from the smallest number of

hypotheses or axioms." -- Albert Einstein

339 "The value of an education ... is not the learning of many facts

but the training of the mind to think something that cannot be

learned from textbooks." -- Albert Einstein

340 "Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is

the triumph of some enthusiasm." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

341 "It will be another million years, at least, before we understand

the primes." -- Paul Erdos

342 "Science and art sometimes can touch one another, like two pieces

of the jigsaw puzzle which is our human life, and that contact may

be made across the boderline between the two respective domains."

-- M.C. Escher

343 "Father [M.C. Escher] had difficulty comprehending that the working

of his mind was akin to that of a mathematician. He greatly

enjoyed the interest in his work by mathematicians and scientists,

..." -- George Escher

344 "For since the fabric of the universe is most perfect and the work

of a most wise Creator, nothing at all takes place in the universe

in which some rule of maximum or minimum does not appear."

-- Leonhard Euler

345 "After exponential quantities the circular functions, sine and

cosine, should be considered because they arise when imaginary

quantities are involved in the exponential." -- Leonhard Euler

346 "Mathematics serves as a handmaiden for the explanation of the

quantitative situations in other subjects, such as economics,

physics, navigation, finance, biology and even the arts."

-- H. F. Fehr

347 "On the other hand, it is impossible for a cube to be written as a

sum of two cubes or a fourth power to be written as a sum of two

fourth powers or, in general for any number which is a power

greater than the second to be written as a sum of two like powers.

For this I have discovered a truly wonderful proof, but the margin

is too small to contain it." -- P. Fermat

348 "The journey for an education starts with a childhood question."

-- David L. Finn

349 "Mathematics compares the most diverse phenomena and discovers the

secret analogies that unite them." -- Joseph Fourier

350 "The deep study of nature is the most fruitful source of

mathematical discoveries." -- Jean-Baptist-Joseph Fourier

351 "What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful

for men, more admirably high and demonstrative, than this of

mathematics?" -- Benjamin Franklin

352 "A surprising proportion of mathematicians are accomplished

musicians. Is it because music and mathematics share patterns

that are beautiful?" -- Martin Gardner

353 "One would be hard put to find a set of whole numbers with a more

fascinating history and more elegant properties surrounded by

greater depths of mystery--and more totally useless--than the

perfect numbers." -- Martin Gardner

354 "The most important outcome of education is to help students to

become independent of formal education." -- Paul E. Gray

355 "The only way to learn mathematics is to do mathematics. That tenet

is the foundation of the do-it-yourself, Socratic, or Texas

method, ..." -- Paul Halmos

356 "A good stack of examples, as large as possible, is indispensable

for a thorough understanding of any concept, and when I want to

learn something new, I make it my first job to build one."

-- Paul Halmos

357 "The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers!"

-- R. W. Hamming

358 "A mathematician, like a painter or poet, is a maker of patterns.

If his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they

are made with ideas." -- G. H. Hardy

359 "In most sciences one generation tears down what another has built

and what one has established another undoes. In mathematics alone

each generation adds a new story to the old structure."

-- Herman Henkel

360 "The struggle to become a better teacher begins all over again with

the advent of each new class." -- Martin Henley

361 "Before beginning [to try to prove Fermat's Last Theorem] I should

have to put in three years of intensive study, and I haven't that

much time to squander on a probable failure." -- David Hilbert

362 "The discoveries of Newton have done more for England and for the

race, than has been done by whole dynasties of British monarchs."

-- Thomas Hill

363 "The infinite in mathematics is alway unruly unless it is properly

treated." -- Edward Kasner and James Newman

364 "Where there is matter, there is geometry." -- Johannes Kepler

365 "The greater our knowledge increases, the greater our ignorance

unfolds." -- John F. Kennedy

366 "...it is the greatest achievement of a teacher to enable his

students to surpass him." -- John Kemeny

367 "The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and

to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the

goal of true education." -- Martin Luther King, jr

368 "Among all of the mathematical disciplines the theory of

differential equations is the most important... It furnishes the

explanation of all those elementary manifestations of nature which

involve time." -- Sophus Lie

369 "The Mandelbrot set is the most complex mathematical object known

to mankind." -- B. Mandelbrot

370 "The teacher who is attempting to teach without inspiring the pupil

to learn is hammering on cold iron." -- Horace Mann

371 "God created infinity, and man, unable to understand infinity, had

to invent finite sets." -- Gian Carlo Rota

372 "We cannot hope that many children will learn mathematics unless we

find a way to share our enjoyment and show them its beauty as well

as its utility." -- Mary Beth Ruskai

373 "Three passions ... have governed my life: the longing for love,

the search for knowledge, and the unbearable pity for the

suffering of mankind." -- Bertrand Russell

374 "Zeno was concerned with three problems...These are the problem of

the infinitesimal, the infinite, and continuity."

-- Bertrand Russell

375 "You get what you settle for." -- Louise Sawyer,

from the movie Thelma and Louise

376 "Think! Think and wonder. Wonder and think. How much water can 55

elephants drink?" -- Dr. Seuss

377 "If you hold yourself up to your children, hold yourself up as an

object lesson and not as an example." -- George Bernard Shaw

378 "One can invent mathematics without knowing much of its history.

One can use mathematics without knowing much, if any, of its

history. But one cannot have a mature appreciation of mathematics

without a substantial knowledge of its history." -- Abe Shenitzer

379 "Mathematics, in the common lay view, is a static discipline based

on formulas...But outside the public view, mathematics continues

to grow at a rapid rate...the guid to this growth is not

calculation and formulas, but an open ended search for pattern."

-- Lynn A. Steen

380 "What humans do with the language of mathematics is to describe

patterns..." -- Lynn A. Steen

381 "There is a difference between not knowing and not knowing yet."

-- Shelia Tobias

382 "Some mathematician, I believe, has said that true pleasure lies

not in the discovery of truth, but in the search for it."

-- Tolstoy

383 "Out of the public schools comes the greatness of the nation."

-- Mark Twain

384 "Calculators can only calculate - they cannot do mathematics."

-- John A. Van de Walle

385 "There is an astonishing imagination even in the science of

mathematics... We repeat, there is far more imagination in the

head of Archimedes than in that of Homer." -- Francios Voltaire

386 "Truth is much too complicated to allow anything but

approximations." -- John von Neumann

387 "Symmetry, as wide or as narrow as you define its meaning, is one

idea by which man through the ages has tried to comprehend and

create order, beauty and perfection." -- Hermann Weyl

388 "I don't know if I should care for a man who made life easy; I

should want someone who made it interesting." -- Edith Wharton

389 "If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am

happy, I do mathematics to keep happy." -- Alfréd Rényi

390 "A mathematician's reputation rests on the number of bad proofs he

has given." -- A. S. Besicovitch

391 "Statistics: the mathematical theory of ignorance."

-- Morris Kline

392 "Poetry is as exact a science as geometry." -- Gustave Flaubert

393 "God is a child; and when he began to play, he cultivated

mathematics. It is the most godly of man's games." -- V. Erath

394 "There still remain three studies suitable for free man. Arithmetic

is one of them." -- Plato

395 "Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not

too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state." -- Plato

396 "In the fall of 1972 President Nixon announced that the rate of

increase of inflation was decreasing. This was the first time a

sitting president used the third derivative to advance his case

for reelection. -- Hugo Rossi"

397 "Inspiration is needed in geometry, just as much as in poetry."

-- Aleksandr Pushkin

398 "With me everything turns into mathematics." -- Descartes

399 "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like

men, but that men will begin to think like computers."

-- Sydney J. Harris

400 "God not only plays dice. He also sometimes throws the dice where

they cannot be seen. " -- Stephen Hawking

401 "One should always generalize." -- Carl Jacobi

402 "The greatest unsolved theorem in mathematics is why some people

are better at it than others." -- Adrian Mathesis

403 "Logic doesn't apply to the real world." -- Marvin Lee Minsky

404 "You know we all became mathematicians for the same reason: we were

lazy." -- Max Rosenlicht

405 "Calculus required continuity, and continuity was supposed to

require the infinitely little; but nobody could discover what the

infinitely little might be." -- Bertrand Russell

406 "If you would make a man happy, do not add to his possessions but

subtract from the sum of his desires." -- Seneca

407 "We think in generalities, but we live in details."

-- Alfred North Whitehead

408 "Learning to solve problems is the principal reason for studying

mathematics." -- National Council of Teachers of Mathematics

409 "High achievement always takes place in the framework of high

expectation." -- Jack Kinder

410 "To state a theorem and then to show examples of it is literally to

teach backwards." -- E. Kim Nebeuts

411 "Man can not discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose

sight of the shore." -- Andre Gide

412 "Mathematics is not a deductive science – that's a cliché. When

you try to prove a theorem, you don't just list the hypotheses,

and then start to reason. What you do is trial and error,

experimentation, guesswork." -- Paul Halmos

413 "It's not the situation ... it's your reaction to the situation."

-- Robert Conklin

414 "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the

difference." -- Reinhold Niebuhr

415 "Success does not consist in never making mistakes, but in never

making the same one a second time." -- George Bernard Shaw

416 "Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why."

-– Bernard Baruch

417 "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back."

-- Charlie Brown (Charles Schulz)

418 "The symbolism of algebra is its glory. But it also is its curse."

-- William Betz

419 "I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as

my telephone. My wish has come true ... I no longer know how to

use my telephone." -- Bjarne Stroustrup

420 "If we couldn't laugh, we just would go insane.

If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane." -- Jimmy Buffett

421 "We use only 10% of our brains… Imagine how smart we would be if we

used the other 60%!" -- Ellen DeGeneres

422 "The most powerful single idea in mathematics is the notion of a

variable." -– K. Dewdney

423 "Home computers are being called upon to perform many new

functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by

the dog." -- Doug Larson

424 "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,

and I'm not sure about the former. –- Albert Einstein

425 "You can not feed the hungry on statistics." -- Heinrich Heine

426 "A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that

need our advice." -- Bill Cosby

427 "When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.

When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour.

That's relativity." -- Albert Einstein

428 "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."

-- W.C. Fields

429 "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

-- Groucho Marx

430 "Hardware -- the parts of a computer that can be kicked."

-- Jeff Pesis

431 "He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes;

he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever."

-– Confucius

432 "Do the math: Count your blessings."

433 "Students learn more when they complete homework that

is graded, commented upon, and discussed by their teachers.

The teacher's feedback -- reinforcing what has been done

correctly and re-teaching what has not -- is key."

-- Nancy Protheroe

434 "If one puts an infinite number of monkeys in front of

typewriters, and lets them clap away, there is a certainty

that one of them will come out with an exact version of the

'Iliad.'" -- Nassim Nicholas Taleb

435 "A math student's best friend is BOB (the Back Of the Book),

but remember that BOB doesn't come to school on test days."

-- Josh Folb

436 "The surest sign of wisdom is constant cheerfulness."

-- Montaigne

437 "Do math and you can do anything. "

-- N.C.T.M. slogan

438 "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

-- Paul Erdos

439 “The pursuit of learning is not a piece of content that can be

taught. It is a value that teachers model. Only teachers who are

avid, internally motivated learners can truly teach their students

the joy of learning.” -- Martin Haberman

440 “It isn't enough just to learn -- one must learn how to learn,

how to learn without classrooms, without teachers, without

textbooks. Learn, in short, how to think and analyze and decide

and discover and create. -- Michael Bassis

441 “It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't

see the problem.” -- G. K. Chesterton

442 “Mathematics is an independent world created out of pure

intelligence.” -- Wordsworth, William

443 “Read Euler: he is our master in everything.”

-- Pierre-Simon de Laplace

444 “I advise my students to listen carefully the moment they decide to

take no more mathematics courses. They might be able to hear the

sound of closing doors.” -- James Caballero

445 Charlie Chaplin once allegedly said to Albert Einstein: "The people applaud

me because everyone understands me, and they applaud you because no one

understands you."

## Mathematics is ...

“Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.” -- Bertrand Russell

“Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.”

“Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things.” -- J. H. Poincare

“Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.”

"Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper." -- David Hilbert

"Mathematics consists in proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way." -- George Polya

"In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them." -- Johann von Neumann

1.Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?

- Because it is too gross (2 x 144 - two gross).2.Which weighs more? A pound of gold or a pound of feathers?

-Both weigh the same.

3.How is the moon like a dollar?

-They both have 4 quarters.

4.What is alive and has only 1 foot?

-A leg.

5.When do giraffes have 8 feet? -When there's two of them.

6.If there were 9 cats on a bridge and one jumped over the edge, how many would be left? -None - they are copycats.7.It happens once in a minute, twice in a week, and once in a year. What is it? -The letter 'e'.

8.What goes up and never comes down? -Your age.